god in times of economic crises…

(Idealistic Satire warning…)

Let’s start in the beginning.  In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth, and then he said it was good.  Throughout history, all cultures have had some kind of god.  Farmers farmed.  Hunters hunted.  Gatherers gathered.  The success of or failure of these endeavors were largely pinned on a god or a collection of thereof.  A good crop equaled a happy god.  Bad hunts revealed the anger of god.  Here’s an easy way to think about it: “The success of my work is not entirely in my hands.  I do my part, but someone else is ultimately responsible for my well-being.”

Someone then thought, “I’m going to go have a look at the god or God or goddess (whatever the case may be).  I’m going to build a very high tower to peer into his bedroom.  Wanna help?”  This sounded like a neat idea, so naturally, there was much community support for the project.  Unfortunately these efforts were confused.  It was as if people were speaking other languages, and the community effort lost traction.

When the tower idea went south there was no proof of god.  Without proof of this god, someone had to step in to speak for him.  Sometimes world leaders communicated their godliness, there were sons of Ra and sons of Zeus and many other sons of many other gods (AKA: governments).

Other people were so frustrated they just said in their hearts, “There is no God.”  These people were thought wise.  Ultimately they became responsible for themselves.  And they developed intricate systems of accountability, too complicated for most to understand.  But they wore the finest suits of linen so they seemed quite credible (AKA: corporations).

Now both the god-substitutes and the god-free needed some leverage to grow their team.  They talked about getting the right people on the bus.  Naturally signs were hung on all the buses, bidding all to come.  The subs for god wrote long written documents to advance their campaigns.  The other group simply abbreviated the names of their organizations, chose a symbol (perhaps a lion or a bull) and a very powerful color to represent them. (AKA: advertising)

Those who chose to believe in the sons of god, the god-subs, studied their documents with precision so they could win arguments against other people who believed in other sons of other gods who were clearly not real.  Sometimes there was bloodshed in these arguments, unfortunate, but necessary.

Those without a god, the god-free, compared numbers with decimal points in them down to 1/1000 of a percent.  But the colors were brilliant!  The competition made people feel alive, but some of the losers were killed during the competition.  Death is a sad side-effect losers sometimes exhibit.  No matter, they did not believe in god, nor afterlife anyhow.  The majority of the deceased were not the ones with the suits.  They were people who were trying to buy a suit.

For all their squabbling, the sons of god and the godless both still needed the support of their fans.  Both groups experimented with different motivators.  They tried candy.  They tried happiness.  They tried fashion.  All worked with varying degrees of success.  Both groups soon discovered the most consistent motivator was fear.

So the two major groups subdivided according to what best frightened their opponents.  The sons of god had radio shows and news networks and a list of things to talk about.  There were also lists of things to call people who followed another kind of god other than the one they followed.  The best names were one’s used by discredited sons of god from Germany and the former USSR.  The names made people quite fearful of one another.

The godless resorted to even cheaper tactics, telling their followers they needed more stuff or they might not survive in this dog-eat-dog world.  So they sent out cards with play-money in them so their followers could get more of the things they were told they needed to survive.  If they did not use the play-money, they would not get a linen suit.  At least not at an acceptable pace.

Following one significant clash of the sons of god, lots of people were dead, even more were hungry.  The godless suggested to the sons of god, that they hang out a little bit to try to figure this out.  This made lots of people happy.  The godless and the sons of god started sneaking around together and making out at movies.  Some thought it was pretty disgusting, but others found it pretty interesting.  They had a very needy baby, who demanded all kinds of stuff, playing one parent against the other (AKA: lobbyist and special interests).

Now there was a small and insignificant group who didn’t accept the theories and literature of the god-substitutes or the god-free.  It seemed this group did not have any fear.  They didn’t fear other people regardless of what they looked like or what god they followed.  It didn’t matter too much to this group that they didn’t have all the best stuff that was “necessary to survive.”

This third group was extraordinarily nice to each other, and quite often to their enemies.  Though they had not perfected either of these ideals, they kept working at it.  Everyone else thought they were suckers, and that they’d definitely finish last.  But the third group wasn’t playing.  Now sometimes they said hurtful things like, “That guy isn’t really a son of god at all.”  And, “We kind think your bus ads are deceptive.”  They also sometimes asserted that the fornication between the god-substitutes and the god-free was wrong, and that their baby was super ugly.  Even though they had opinions, they refused to play the game.

Group three was asked for their coat, they gave their shirts too.  A god-substitute whacked one of them on the head; he turned to the god-free and offered him a whack too.  Sometimes they took other people’s shoes and walked around in them, frequently for distances of 2 or more miles.  They kept insisting that there was a bigger god who was hidden by the fancy systems of the other two groups, who had been forgotten since the tower building project sputtered to an end.  Most of the time they insisted this in a friendly, personal and engaging manner, though some of them advertised on buses, before coming to their senses.

Turns out both the god-substitutes and the god-free were right.  The third group lost the game and their opportunity to acquire the whole world.  Some God, however, has been collecting their souls.  Rumor has it, the third group gets to keep their own souls.  Currently, the god-substitute group is debating whether or not this is true.  Meanwhile the god-free group is busy collecting all of the late-third group’s belongings for market.