on being a dad
Last night I attended my eldest son’s band camp concert. The night before that both of my boys had baseball games. In an hour I’ll be leaving to go to yet another baseball game. Next weekend the daughter has a ballet recital. Being a dad (or a mom) takes a lot of time.
I am told that in a year or two, my eldest son will resent me for no good reason. In 5 years, he’ll put up with me in an effort to get to the car keys. I’ll resume being wise and benevolent in his mind in 10-15 years. This means that I have today. That’s it!
But really all we’re guaranteed is today. When the schedule of activities gets crammed, you could quit everything and ensure that your grandchildren will have at least one absentee parent. Or you can show up. What is more important than simply showing up?
It’s the weekend, and you’ve got a laundry list of things to do. You’re reading a blog. Stop it (not forever, just until Monday, please)! And show up.
Yes, show up. I showed up at every grade school, junior high, high school marching band football game and competition, concert band, and band-band show my son did for about 10 years. At age 30 he remembers that more than he does my gross failures as a father. After 6 kids and innumerable assemblies, programs, parent conferences, ballet, swim meets etc. etc. I can tell you this: Show up. Your presence means more than you can imagine to them, even when they think they don’t like you.
I second reader #1, even though I had only two. Both of them (now in their 40s!) remember that I came to all the concerts etc. (my son’s career as a concert violinist was cut short after about 3 weeks. He changed to clarinet, finally was satisfied with stage crew which got him through high school.)
And don’t forget PTA meetings and school conferences! Sticking up for your kids and being there for them even when they are wrong in the eyes of the establishment pays dividends!