No more sojourning through that pesky “valley of the shadow of death” crap.

Gone are the “trials of many kinds.”

blasphemy never looked so good.

Pick up your cross in this trendy poly/cotton blend and be the envy of the sheepfold.  Oh yeah, and when you fast, put on a clean tee-shirt!

Dear Staples,

Someone posing as Jesus is trying to steal your button idea.  Please sue them immediately.

Your Friend,

reamofpaper.com